Thursday, April 18, 2013

Not living in the past

I recently discovered over the last 2 years or so that I really need to stop living in the past. I used to constantly look back and compare. I would constantly talk about all of the bad things that have happened to me and it made it very hard to move on. I’ve been through some extremely hard experiences in my life and it’s been a tough ride. Most of these things lead back to either being bullied growing up, being ridiculously shy and reserved or my absolutely disastrous dating past.  I’ve been cheated on, threatened physically by my boyfriends, emotionally abused.. the list goes on (and on). I never knew what it felt like to be appreciated until now.

Years ago I was always trying to build on something that was never fully stable or strong. It always crumbled and fell apart. Nothing good was happening for me. I decided to start from scratch. I decided to start with a clean plate, build on myself and start painting on this beautiful canvas they call life. I started spending more time thinking about what I wanted and about the path I wanted to take in life. I started becoming more open and voicing my thoughts. I started to realize that I wasn’t a bad person and there was a lot of good in me. I used my past experiences to build on my future and go in a completely different direction. I changed for the better. I kept busy, surrounded myself with good, strong, amazing people and pushed myself outside of my comfort zone. I also decided to have a total lifestyle change. I joined weight watchers and MAJORLY cut back on drinking.

Over the course of the last few years I evolved into this person who is no longer hurt, bitter or in pain. I radiate happiness. I smile at strangers, do random acts of kindness and appreciate things I never would have. This is because I have moved on. I moved on from the past and the person I was back then. I used the bad experiences and the negative thoughts to make new, exciting experiences and create positive thoughts. I knew that I never wanted to be that person and turning back was never, ever an option. I realized that stepping outside of your comfort zone doesn’t need to be terrifying and that it can be quite liberating and exciting. I’ve learned so much and have grown an incredible amount since I made these changes. I created a new life and a new me. I love this life.

Constantly looking back on the negative aspects and living in the past is not healthy. Life doesn’t just go the way you want it by sitting back and doing nothing. Step outside of your comfort zone and make your life happen.

Thanks for listening :)


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